Hello to you again, my wonderful ladies and gentlemen on deviantART, and welcome to The Official Artworks of Adigun Azikiwe Polack on , where I now have witnessed this most unexpected and rather horrible news that has just hit me SO CLOSE to home personally into my heart: my grandma has just died at the age of 73 today.  And yes, I have just heard serious word of it from within the last hour (during the 2am hour EST of 6/15/2009)... how damned horrible is that!?   !!

I mean, I never even dared thought or imagined at all it to hit me so painfully this close indeed... what an utter heartbreaker of a loss right there personally, and I do not throw words around like this lightly, you know what I mean?

      

Since the following birthday journal of mine on dA (you can read it here: [link], my grandma got sicker and sicker and even worser on her overall health condition, and yet continued to gripe and complain about even the slightest little thing that I have mentioned about from before in my journal, and since she was having rather smaller and even littlest amounts of food per day, my uncle and I eventually noticed that her body became more and more flabby and skinnier... shocking!!!   !

And furthermore, her last resort for eating food each day was to make some home deliveries from a local chinese food place by phone to have a guy come right by our door in order to get their take-out food ready and into our house.  Very stupid idea, since the food from such local chinese joints indeed are LOADED with excess fried stuff, excess sodium, tons of fat, and so full of non-stop grease that’ll all cause you to be sicker and rather more ill in a hurry... in other words, it does much more harm than good at all, and not the way to be eating healthier, either.  No.  

Even then, my grandma complained about the chinese food order to my uncle that it did not taste right, and eventually, over a period of time, she escalated it into a full-blown argument to where it became so UTTERLY frustrating... but then she decided to throw in the towel and just do whatever the hell she wanted to do, right then and there, when she wants it.  See, that is her problem right there, because it just don’t happen that way all the time; after all, if she did not want that food to begin with, she should *never* have made that call to that place there, and none of that mess would have even happened!!  

And now, to last night, which was approximately on the night of Sunday, June 14, 2009 at the time-frame between 10pm and 11:45pm EST: at our home, just as my uncle was preparing himself a nice healthy salad for himself, my grandma has suddenly fallen painfully hard off of that chair and onto that hard floor, in such an utterly, utterly weakest state that she was in — legs swollen and still full of fluid, her heart ailing, her sudden anxiety attacks on the rise apparently beyond the boiling point, her voice extremely weak and then some!!  Since then, she was trying to get up on the medical walker that we got right next to her.... but to no avail, however, since she was slowly but surely collapsing to the floor, and she suddenly sounded in her voice like her heart was literally passing out, like a painful death scream or something like that... and I was quite frantically like, “OH MY RATHER GOD!!!  Please don’t fade out on us now at a time like this!!!!” where I literally almost cried like mad, at least!!!    And, as she laid unconscious on the floor in now likely a *very* critical condition because of that hard-hitting fall in such an utterly weak physical state, I eventually gave my uncle the phone to where he had to call the ambulance at once.  Then, within less than 20 minutes, several ambulance men as well as some local police officers rushed immediately to the scene to pick her up and carry her out to a local major hospital by the stretchers.  Until that time came though, my uncle was deeply trying to resuscitate her every two (2) seconds as according to the operator’s instructions over the telephone.  Once the people got my grandma up on the stretchers and carried her into the hospital, he soon after went there himself to check on her own condition.

By that time, I was praying desperately for her ( ), since all I wanted her to do all along was get a whole lot better and to successfully recover from this operation just like my uncle did from earlier in 2009!!  All I could do then was hope and believe.....

Then at 2:30am to 2:50am just this wee-morning (now going into 6/15/2009), I just heard word from one of my relatives that my grandma has now passed away.  From that point, that TOTALLY hit me rather big-time so close to home right there personally, even since I have already dealt with at least two deaths in my lifetime already: one, my very own great-grandmother, and the other, my grandfather from many years ago.  I mean, this tragic death of my grandma just now is — and I gotta say this — the most brutally toughest loss I have ever even faced in my life so far this entire month!!!!   !!

But, just because this loss has happened... THAT DOES NOT EVEN MEAN I AM GONNA LOSE *ANY* OF MY OWN CREATIVITY IN MY OWN ARTWORKS PERIOD, because I am not letting any grief take that away from me (even though I am really suffering some so far this moment in time this week!).  At all.

In fact now, I am already on the second half of my special birthday design that I have mentioned about from my birthday journal, and already, things are looking up so far on that new artwork.  And I promise you, I will get that picture up on dA and ready for you on my artwork abode here as soon as it is finished this month... I have QUITE a whole lot to say there in the description of that brand-new piece ahead, so stay tuned.  

In the meantime for me, I need some serious, SERIOUS prayers and a whole lot of support from all of you here, according to what I am going through right now... boy, such a loss like that of a loved one can *really* cut so very damn deep beyond one’s own imagination, doesn’t it now, especially if it hits so close to home, too!!!   !!

And don’t you dare worry... I AM GONNA RATHER PULL THROUGH IT, my awesome ladies and gentlemen!!!!   !!!

Be seeing you again later, and as the show MUST go on in my artworks abode, please pray for me and support me indeed as my grandma is finally laid to rest... I will sure as just plain hell miss her like crazy!!!